I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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