the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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