I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
