Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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