Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
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