He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Randomize
