You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
