I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
