at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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