I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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