How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
