You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
