you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
