what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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