god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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