good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
