i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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