His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
