Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
