508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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