wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
