Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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