i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
