Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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