So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
