I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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