where am i from again
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
