its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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