didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
