if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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