Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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