you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
