My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
You left your phone here
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