I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
