When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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