I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
