Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
