you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
