You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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