I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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