I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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