Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
