She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
