I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
