i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
