we have officially lost it.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
