Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
