I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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