I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
