it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
