she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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