I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
